gone into shut down mode. I talked to my doctor yesterday and am having surgery in a out a month. Until then, I will be a bundle of nerves. It's fun. Shut down mode involves zoning out and only focusing on worrying, crying, nausea, diarrhea, zero motivation, and lots of sleeping.
This sucks so bad. I hate it. I wish they didn't have to tell me everything. I wish there was no prep stuff. I wish they could just surprise me, knock me out, and do it.
Ugh.
Where's a time machine when I need it? I need December. Stat.
