And then

there were none. 

I sat outside with her the evening before. "You've been a turd at times, but you've been a good girl."

Maggie was our last. First we lost Archer, then Strat, we put Lucille down next, and yesterday it was Maggie. We’ve known it was coming. She was 14 and things weren’t right. I took her to the vet almost 4 weeks ago for an eye infection. Her bloodwork was a little concerning with a high white blood cell count. She came home with medicines. We went back two weeks later for a followup. WBC was higher, she’d lost 2 pounds, and she had a sore on her side. I’d already told the vet that because of her age, we would not do the tests and scans to find the problem. I was told it could be hemangiosarcoma. We wouldn’t know for sure unless we did all the testing. We came home with more steroids and eye cream. Her appetite decreased, it was harder for her to walk/get up, she started acting spacey, I found more sores, and she was feeling bonier. We decided to end her suffering. We took her to the vet yesterday, after the kids came by to say goodbye. It was a week and 4 or 5 days since her follow up and she’d lost another 3 pounds. She was down to 44 pounds, after being 60 in her prime. It was time. 

Thirty minutes before we left, I went outside to get a few more pictures. She looked tired and sad.

Just like I told her, she was a turd at times, but she was a good girl.

Can I just spend the

day in bed today? I'm tired. I'm unmotivated to do anything halfway productive around the house. I have the munchies. I'm just not feeling it today. 

I started a book the other day that had artwork scattered throughout. I quit reading the book because I wasn't into it. I kind of wasn't into the pictures. I felt like I was reading a book for kids. Maybe I was. I don't know. What I do know is that one of the pictures was their daily breakfasts of grits, eggs, bacon, and toast.

 

That's the same breakfast my Grandma made for me every morning. She'd occasionally do oatmeal or pancakes (both delicious), but we had this breakfast was 95% of the days. I would stop by their house for breakfast before work. I'd leave Eric and my grandfather would take him to school. Anyway, I've had grits and eggs on the brain ever since seeing that picture. I made it this morning, minus the toast and orange juice.  Maybe the breakfast is weighing me down. 

Speaking of food and snacks and munchies, let me share this. I'm a Peter Pan fan when it comes to peanut butter. That's all I've ever used. I bought a little protein box from Starbucks and it came with apple slices and a peanut butter packet (not Peter Pan). I tried it, even though it had honey in it... I liked it. I liked it with the apples so much that I bought a jar.

It's no replacement for Peter Pan. If I have a sandwich or toast, that'll be Peter Pan. If I'm having apple slices, I'm using this stuff.

 

Okay, well... now my computer battery is whining about needing to be charged. (Same, dude. Same.) Maybe if I got out and went shopping... maybe for art supplies... hmm. Or, I could do exactly what I'm doing now. I can sit here and stay on my devices. I'll let you know what happens.

I've been looking into

art classes... again. I know I won't follow through because nothing local seems like a good fit. I want instruction with assignments and feedback. It's been so long, but I know what I want. I know I won't stick with it if I have to drive to Houston. I've already done that. What I want is The Glassell, but I want it 15 minutes from home. When I was in school, my art teacher would bring things from her assignments at The Glassell to our class. It really was great. I ended up taking classes there as well. That's what I want. A few years ago I signed up for weekly classes at Houston Center for Photography. I only went to a couple and then stopped. I would go to other events they had, like one time things. I never signed up for another class. I would do it if it was online. I've done courses online through other places. Anyway, I feel like I would stick with a Glassell experience if it was here. I suppose I could look into one of the few things offered here, but I'm probably going into it with the wrong attitude. I know what I want and I know what I expect.

For now, I'm trying to pull my sketchbook out more. Here's an update:

I've been going for chair massages every couple of weeks for my back and neck. This was waiting in the lobby.

A piece of candy up at the office.

Waiting in the pickup line at school. There was a Jeep in front of me.

Magnesium glycinate.

A quick scribble while waiting on Mom and Dad.

The same view as the photo from the Camp Snap. A quick scribble after I took the picture while waiting for the vet to come back.

Oh, well. That's a little bit of catch up from the sketch book. Until I find a class I'm interested in, I'll keep doing my own thing.